Definition: re•deem
/rəˈdēm/- gain or regain possession of (something) in exchange for payment.
compensate for the faults or bad aspects of (something).
‘buy-back’
Who would have thought it would be me writing a blog? Let alone, who would have thought I could lead my own ministry, have women look at me for inspiration and be a person who ministers to the brokenhearted on how Jesus can change lives? Well, certainly NOT ME! I have always put myself down in a sense because I believed I was the equivalent to the ends of a loaf of bread (those pieces everyone touched but didn’t want) I did not believe I was worthy, so I sold myself. I would say I sold myself to past relationships, friendships, and even my father so I could know what it feels like to be loved. Convincing myself that, even if all I could get were a piece of a person, I would be satisfied. When the fairy tale in my mind was not fulfilled by who I believed at the time should be the one to ‘make all my dreams come true’ I would lash out on them. Turning myself into a bad girl where I wouldn’t consider the feelings of others and only thought about what could possibly fill the void in my heart. I would literally do my best to convince people to love me even though I had no idea who I really was. I learned as a young child (grew up Holiness) that the love of God was like a well of living water that would never run dry- but I wasn’t sure what that meant. I wasn’t sure that I was worthy of unconditional love when I was so used to be loved by conditions; i.e. you give me something and expect a return. Trading my shining light for a light that was dimmer because I knew if I would walk or move the way I knew (in my mind) I should, those who I want to be around would essentially walk away. Was that a risk I was willing to take?
In August 2016, I was prophesied to TWICE with the same word, literally within less than a week of each other. The word was “stop compromising your position in the Kingdom of God for something that was not God- ordained.” I knew exactly what that meant, but in the same time frame, God spoke to me and said “you cannot serve 2 Gods. It's either Me or them.” (Matthews 6:24) In my mind I thought, Lord I have to let EVERYTHING about my old self go? The not feeling like I am loved, selling myself short, not receiving the full benefit of You because I am still trying to please those around me? God was so clear when He began to reveal my purpose to me that I couldn’t ignore it. He began giving me multiple visions and dreams that I could not make into reality as long as I was compromising myself.
My redemption was simple. God was willing to redeem me, but I had to be the one who wanted to be redeemed. In similarity to, when you go to a supermarket, you are only usually allowed to purchase the items on the shelves that have a price tag. For my life was purchased on Calvary where Jesus paid the ultimate price to ‘buy me back.’ Once I remembered His great sacrifice, I allowed God to begin working on my heart and finally remove this ‘bad girl’ from me. Sis had TO GO! Redemption had to happen so I could walk boldly in my purpose. I can honestly say that walking in my purpose has fulfilled me more than any feeling of love I thought I could receive by selling myself. This love God has for me and the love I have for myself is greater than anything I could have asked or thought of.
As an affirmed woman, I can boldly say I am in love with who I am today. So, in love that above all else I guard my heart for everything I do flows from it (Proverbs 4:23), I am overwhelmed by the love of God, and I can see now how His hand was always over my life. He has protected me from the unthinkable. The inspiration behind it all is that I started out as a bad girl, but I have been redeemed. Yes, God even wants to redeem the bad girl.
About the Author:
Kellee Brown was born and raised in Philadelphia, PA. As a young child growing up in a Holiness Church of God house hold, she always recognized that God was calling her to higher places. It was not until she moved to Baltimore County, MD and joined The Tabernacle at GBT where she truly began to foster her gifts and be the women God called her to be. Kellee has studied Applied Psychology with a minor in psychological services at Coppin State University and is seeking acceptance into a physician assistant program. Kellee's desire is to help all the total woman meaning spiritually, emotionally, mentally and physically. Kellee is currently a mentor to young ladies who are in need of guidance. Kellee even aspires to open her own women's clinic to provide services for local women in the realm of health screening, mental health counseling and life coaching. Kellee also aspires to give back to her community in the form of a clinic to help women become more educated about themselves. Kellee is the founder of A Queen's Heart Ministry where their mission is to help build up women's self-confidence in order to recognize their truth and boldly step into their purpose. Kellee also is the leader of the singles' ministry at her church 'The Tab' called 'The Living Single Ministry.' Kellee seeks to inspire women in all walks of life by being who God called her to be and unapologetically walking in her purpose.
Connect with her on Social Media:
IG: @AQueensHeartMinistry
FB: A Queen's Heart Ministry
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